Leading Cause of Homelessness?
Posted on the Cathedral of Learning (paraphrased):
According to a survey of 25 states, the leading cause of homelessness is a lack of affordable housing.
Our sources have brought us the rest of the story — namely, that "lack of affordable housing" edged out other popular options, such as:
- Have house‐a‐phobia [of course domatophobia exists]
- Just paid off the mortgage on the family cardboard box
- City cleans the streets; don't want to clean own house
- Had bad experience with Pierce Brosnan–themed UltraHouse 3000; scarred for life
- Anarchosyndicalist leanings; demonstrating solidarity with the lower class
- Not acutally homeless, but currently participating in eXtreme Trading Spaces spinoff
- Scarcity of non‐vitreous dwellings, combined with inability to shake stone‐throwing habit
- Heard that 90% of crimes occur in the home [variant of the Yo Momma joke along the same lines]
Jonathan suggests the following:
- Buying anything that big just asking for it to be hit by a meteor
- House of beer cans has that je ne sais quoi
- Prefer the all‐natural goodness of the outdoors commonly found in large cities
- Cheap, easy relocation impossible with a big ol' house in tow
And Anthony (in addition to helping with the phrasing of my last option) adds:
- No fear of losing house in lawsuit
Update: I'm Going to Hell
I felt bad enough having the directory structure humor/homelessness, but now, to make things worse: Google Search Results for Leading Cause of Homelessness. If this site actually got much traffic, I'm sure someone would already have taken time out of his busy schedule to chide me for my insensitivity.
Non‐Humorous Section
Jonathan points out that I should perhaps have a real link that addresses the real problem of homelessness. He suggests the Melville Charitable Trust. The New Yorker has an enlightening article on solving homelessness instead of managing it.